Clarity

So much for dreaming

And it starts all over again, in time.

I find something, the real thing.

Heart?

I become knowing you, and it’s just like coccaine.

So addictive.

Do I fall for you? I'm not sure yet.

But,  the whole days getting better and better.

I love the way how you laughs,

And the way how you talks.

And I start missing you every night.

I start dreaming you in every sleeps.

Insane, huh?

Conversations, late night texts.

Photos, words, phrases, poems, songs.

I’m not hoping.  I just…

And then I realize, days turn anything.

You’re change.

And it becomes so clear that you’re so far.

I’m not expecting.

It’s just not so easy.

I can’t be whatever I want.

All I’ll ever be is a slow, pale, hunched-over, dead-eyed zombie.

What did I think was gonna happen?

That she'd actually want to stay with me?

It’s hopeless.

This is what I get for wanting more.

I should just be happy with what I had.